for love…for truth…for mercy

There seems to be a lot of judgment going around church circles lately. Or maybe I’m just more keenly aware of it than ever before. I know that Christians are often believed to be judgmental by those who are not Christians. However, I have never felt that way…until recently. I have always believed that Christians were more loving than judging and more accepting than condemning. Again, perhaps I have missed it or ignored it somehow. Or perhaps, with society’s enormous push towards “tolerance”, some Christians have felt the need to be even more vocal about what they believe to be so very wrong.

I may get myself in trouble here. You may not agree with me – and that’s completely okay with me. However, I just don’t understand the need to be so very vocal about what everyone around you (especially those who are not Christ followers) might be doing wrong according to your viewpoint. I hate the word “tolerance”. I don’t understand the need for the word. I wish that people were kind enough and loving enough that the word “tolerance” wouldn’t have to be such a huge thing right now.

I don’t want to just “tolerate” people! I want to learn to love them! In every situation, every family, every group – there will be people we don’t get along with and we have to learn to “get along” or “tolerate” each other for the sake of the bigger picture. Yes. True. However, a Christian is not meant to “tolerate” their neighbor – we are meant to love them! (Matthew 22:36-40; Mark 12:30-31).

But SO often we are known for our intolerance rather than our love – intolerance to love – what a HUGE gap that is! What are we teaching our kids? To love only those who agree with us? To love them, but to make sure they know they are wrong? Is that really love at all? I don’t think it is. It breaks my heart to see so many groups of people treated so very poorly by the Christian community. Disclaimer: I know SO many Christians who are so very loving and accepting of all of those groups – so I know it’s probably more the exception than the rule. But isn’t it true that one bad apple spoils the whole bunch?! I don’t ever want to be that bad apple! No wonder people don’t feel welcome in the church when well-known pastors are tweeting about God’s judgment of people via the tornadoes, when there are churches like Westboro Baptist who judge and hate all men equally (unless they are exactly like them).

I understand that God’s truth is important. I understand that the Bible is full of truth and conviction, and that it is “alive and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart.” (Hebrews 4:12). But there are so many Christians these days who believe it is their responsibility to “divide soul and spirit, joints and marrow and to judge the thoughts and attitudes of the heart.”

Yes – it is our responsibility to speak truth….in love…at the appropriate time…and by the leading and direction of the Holy Spirit. I am a truth teller. I have a hard time keeping my mouth shut when I believe something “wrong” is happening. I understand the desire to set people right. I really do. I also understand that the purpose of truth telling HAS to be setting people right, helping people grow, loving them with our words and our purposes – NOT judging them or hurting them. Some things are not your business, pastor. Some things should NOT be said in public forums – or at all for that matter. What is the purpose of your words? To judge or to love? Conviction or compassion? To tear down or to build up? Ephesians 4:29 says, “Let no unwholesome talk come out of your mouth but only what is useful for building others up.” I have that one memorized. Not because I am awesome at it – but because I’m not. I have to pay very close attention to my words – every – single – day. Or I’ll slip. I’ll judge. I’ll show hate instead of love. I don’t ever want to be known for what I stand against – but rather what I stand for.
Jesus stood for love. for peace. for acceptance. for grace. for truth. for mercy and kindness.

Want to be more like Jesus? I do. I don’t want those around me to be reluctant to let me in for fear that I might judge them. Heck – I don’t want to be reluctant to let people in for fear that they may judge me!
I want to be a true Christ “follower”. I want to stand for love….for truth…and for mercy!

A Swift Blow to the Head

For about a week I’ve been feeling like I recently got the wind knocked out of me. Then yesterday I literally had a bucket of cleaning supplies fall on my head. I just stood there trying not to lose my lunch and trying hard not to cry – although I could not keep the tears from filling my eyes. I wasn’t sure what to do – should I lay down? Should I sit? Should I call someone in case I pass out so the girls won’t be left alone with their mom laying limp on the floor – I know, I know – I’m terribly dramatic. I had no idea what to do. I knew what I wanted to do – I wanted to be held by my big, strong husband and told that it was going to be okay and then I wanted to eat a bunch of cheesecake. Exactly how I have been feeling all week. In fact, today I made a pan of cheesecake only to accidentaly spill a cup of lemonade all over it ruining it. Sad.
I wish I could tell you that I have some profound new understanding of my situation and what I’m supposed to learn through all of it – but I don’t. I am still sitting here feeling exactly the same way I did at the beginning of this week – windless.

I have been reading the book of Ruth for the last few weeks – little by little. I believe that Naomi, and Ruth too for that matter, must have felt something similar although probably on a much larger scale. I’m sure they felt, when they lost their loved ones, that they just had the wind knocked out of them. They had left Judah because of a famine and went to Moab. While there, Naomi’s husband died and eventually also her two sons died. They had left their home, the only place they had ever known and had ended up somewhere entirely new. After some time there, the new place became a place of sorrow – a place of great loss. Naomi had a moment, I am sure, where she didn’t know what to do next. She must have been scared, confused, angry, sad – and a hundred other emotions to be sure.

I feel that way right now. I recently left a place that felt like home to me and ended up in another place where I knew no one. Although I am still certain that I was following God’s leading in leaving my comfortable place and going to the place He called me, I am now fighting with the feeling that it might’ve been easier if I hadn’t gone there at all. It would’ve hurt less if I had stayed where I was comfortable. It would have saved myself and my family a lot of hurt if I had just ignored God’s call. I wonder if Abraham ever felt like that? Or if David ever thought it would’ve been easier if he had remained a shepherd boy instead of becoming the King that God desired. Or if Peter, while sinking in the Sea of Galilee, thought maybe he should’ve stayed in the boat? I know it’s not necessarily the right thing for me to be wondering right now – but I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t.

I know that God’s purpose for me remains, and I know that He is as loving as He has always been. I also know that I am a different person than I was three months ago and that God will work it all out for His glory.
He is, after all, still God. He is just. He is good. Although I don’t understand the why of it all, or what I’m supposed to learn from it all – and maybe I never will – I DO know that I would follow Him there all over again. A hundred times again – I would. I love the Lord, Jesus Christ, with all my heart and soul and am committed to living wholeheartedly for him and to following wherever He leads.

There’s a song that I have recently fallen in love with that seems appropriate right now for me. It’s called What Grace is Mine, written by Keith & Kristyn Getty and is on their album, “Awaken the Dawn“. Here are some of the lyrics:

So I will go wherever He is calling me.
I’ll lose my life to find my life in Him.
I give my all to gain the hope that never dies.
I bow my heart, take up my cross and follow Him.

Learn to do Good. Seek Justice. Help the Opressed…

I read this passage today in my quiet time. I can’t get it out of my mind. I know that it’s just sitting there waiting to mess me up entirely. I hope so. I can’t wait for God to mess me up. Here’s what it said…

“Wash yourselves and be clean! Let me no longer see your evil deeds. Give up your wicked ways.

Learn to do good.

Seek Justice.

Help the opressed.

Defend the orphan.

Fight for the rights of widows.

Come now, let us argue this out, says the LORD. No matter how deep the stain of your sins, I can remove it. I can make you as clean as freshly fallen snow. Even if you are stained as red as crimson, I can make you as white as wool. If you will only obey me and let me help you, then you will have plenty to eat. But if you keep turning away and refusing to listen, you will be destroyed by your enemies. I, the LORD, have spoken!”

Isaiah 1:16-20

View from the Fishbowl

I was driving home from my parents house yesterday. I came to where a small road intersects with a much bigger one. I was sitting at the light (first one in line) waiting to turn left on the bigger road. There was a man behind me in a big pickup truck. He obviously wanted to turn right and was quite annoyed that I was in his way (he could have turned right on red). He kept turning on and off his blinker and edging a tiny bit closer to my bumper every few seconds to make sure I knew that I was in his way. I honestly thought it was a little funny, but was also a bit annoyed at his lack of patience and kindness.

Tonight as I was laying in bed trying desperately to sleep, God brought back to mind that encounter. I began to wonder how often I behave that way. How often do I wish that those around me would either go my way or just get out of my way altogether? I’m not talking about driving. I’m talking about life. About ministry. About relationships. I often get annoyed or impatient with people not doing things the way that makes the most sense to me. Sometimes even at God. I often wish that God would do things in a way that makes sense to me. I often find myself wondering, “Now why’d you do it that way, God?”

The man in that truck knew nothing about me, my route, my life…but he was annoyed that I was making things harder for him. It was all about him. So often we get stuck in the ‘but what about me’ mindset and forget that “God is painting on a canvas bigger than we can see or comprehend”. Our little piece of the puzzle is just that – a little piece. When I begin to think I deserve, desire, wish, want or need anything apart from what God says I need – I miss the bigger picture. I’m seeing things from inside the fishbowl.

Often God won’t let me go to sleep until He’s told me what He needed to tell me – until my will is surrendered to His – until my heart is about obedience and the things of God. Tonight is a night like that.

My prayer for tonight is that God will help me to step outside of myself, my problems, my hurt, my confusion and try to see things from an eternal perspective instead of from my tiny little fishbowl.

Ladies and Gentlemen, thank you for choosing Compass Airlines…

Most of you know that I am part of a church plant in Roanoke, TX. We’ve had a number of challenges over the last couple of years, most of which have turned into major advantages. Check out Johnny’s post for specific examples.
I’ve been thinking alot lately about the upcoming months and how we will design our services to really make an impact in our area. I’ve come to some conclusions:

I read an article about how before we put together our services we need to know who we are – personalities, etc. I think that up until now we’ve been trying to figure out what will reach people – what people will respond to. Well, if we first figure out what WE respond to, that will help us communicate with passion, excitement and actually reach the people God means for us to reach. God put our personalities together for a reason – and it’s not so that we can do church like we always have. I think we are supposed to play on our strengths, passions, preferences, and styles and then – ONLY THEN – will we reach the people God is calling us to reach. Lets design a service – or Weekly gathering – that WE would be able to get excited about – and want to invite people to. Let’s take the church goggles off and dream a little. We CAN have fun with this. Church is supposed to be fun – it’s supposed to be creative – it’s supposed to be different. People will respond to us if we’re genuine and real – we’ve talked about this a million times. I think that it’s time to put our worship service where our mouth is. It will take major dedication, creativity, excitement, passion, time – but we can absolutely make it happen.

It’s like all of the sudden my eyes have been opened and I see things not for what they were or what they are, but for what they could be. It’s the DUH moment. Actually I’ve had a lot of DUH moments over the last couple of weeks. I feel so stupid that it never occured to me before. God chose us – who we are – our personalities, etc. for this area at this time. We don’t have to wait and see what God will do. HE’s called US to do something. To reach out in an exciting and real way to the people in THIS area and tell them about Him. When we’re obedient to do that – He’ll move in a mighty way. It all seems so simple, now. God has given us the opportunity to be creative – to get excited – to be passionate and to have a blast at the same time. I’ve been saying that I’m learning what a privilege it is to be in ministry and to be a part of God’s will.
It’s like my first airplane ride – I expected something really cool. I knew that it would be great. But when the wheels of the plane left the ground for the first time and I realized that I was FLYING – Words couldn’t express how I was feeling. My mind was expanded at that moment – suddenly the world was a lot bigger – and I was a lot smaller – and it was WONDERFUL! I finally saw a glimpse of the Big Picture – and I will NEVER BE THE SAME.

That’s where we are as a church – the wheels are leaving the pavement. Just like in the airplane – I held on a little tighter to the armrest as the nose of the plane pointed toward the sky and the ground got farther away – we need to do the same now – hold on tighter. There is a natural excitement that we’ll feel just knowing that the plane is going higher and higher and pointing more and more toward the sky – and the higher we get, the looser our grip will be on the armrests. The higher we go – the more we will trust the thing that is holding us up. The higher we go – the more of the picture we’ll see. I’m so ready to fly. I’ve never been more ready.

Input vs. Output

I’ve discovered today that my good intentions mean nothing to God. You’ve heard the old phrase, “The road to hell is paved with good intentions”, well I’ve decided that is not far from the truth. Although, as a child of God, I’d have to say the road to disconnect is paved with good intentions. Or the road to discontent or distraction. I have been completely distracted over the last week, and for the life of me I can’t figure out how it happened. I’m sure I can give a big fat list of excuses, but the truth is I allowed myself to get distracted. My intentions were good. I am thinking all the time about scripture I’m memorizing or prayers I need to pray, or even how great God is. I’m getting a lot of spiritual input, but no worshipful output is happening on my part. God doesn’t want me to just learn all I can, memorize His word, listen to sermons and “be fed”. My purpose is to worship God with my life. My goal is to live my days in a way that brings glory to His name. I’m not sure I did that this week. I will make it my focus today.

More on Success

Here’s an excerpt from another daily devotion that I read –

There is a distinct difference between the believer who operates based on living in the Promised Land versus the one who operates in Egypt. In Egypt, the believer sweats and toils to generate an outcome. The final objective is foremost in their mind. Outcome is everything. In the Promised Land, we learn that obedience is the only thing that matters.
We are called to execute, and leave outcome to God. Sometimes that outcome is very positive, yielding a return. In other cases, we may not yield a corresponding return. We may even get a negative outcome. The difference is that we know that we have been faithful to what God has called us to and we yield results to God. God may call each of us to be obedient to situations that may not yield immediate, positive results. It is in these times that our faith must be obedience-based versus outcome-based. What if Jesus had considered the immediate ramifications of whether he would go to the cross? Based on the immediate outcome, the decision would have been an easy one. Who wants to die on a cross? However, for Him there was a higher purpose in that obedience. We are called to this same kind of obedience. This means putting our own flesh on the line daily, dying to our own self-will. This is what it means to be faithful. Pray that God will make you faithful today.

More cool stuff!

What is Success?

I’ve struggled with this question many times during the last couple of years. Mainly because of my part in a church plant. In the beginning of my relationship w/ North Point (soon to be Compass Church!!) I didn’t really know what a church plant was, and I most definitely didn’t know what I was getting into. I DID know that God was giving me an opportunity to get involved with what He is doing by being a part of this new venture. Throughout our church’s journey (see our story here) we’ve asked ourselves many times how we define success. I think the closest I’ve come to a definition is “Being obedient to what God has called me to do” – that’s success. I must be obedient to God and the success of my efforts is up to Him – isn’t that comforting? – God is in control of the success or failure of the mission.

I found a verse today that I had read before, but not from this perspective – “Now it is God who makes both us and you stand firm in Christ .” 2 Corinthians 1:21.
Here’s a quote from the bible study:
“The lesson I have learned from my failures is that I don’t have to succeed. I have to do the right thing under God’s guidance, and leave success or failure in His hands.” – isn’t that cool??
My part in God’s plan is to stand firm in Him – to be obedient, to do the right thing – He’ll take care of the rest.
I love this verse because it helps me to concrete in my mind a kingdom mindset, or a Big Picture perspective – I am not even able to stand firm in Christ apart from His guidance. I cannot even obey on my own. However, “I can do all things through Him who gives me strength” – with God’s guidance – I can do my part! I can stand firm! My success within this church plant is dependent not on my own talents, abilities or hard work – but on God’s abilities. My part is to be obedient and to always do the right thing according to God’s guidance – and His plan will succeed.

Proverbs 3:5-7 (New Living Translation)
5Trust in the LORD with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. 6Seek his will in all you do, and he will direct your paths.

Very cool stuff indeed!

Bridges

I read a post this morning from Charlie Pharis, which was about a post from Randy Bohlender (too much blogging, I know!) that got me thinking. It was about the idea that our faith shouldn’t make it harder for us to connect w/ people that we don’t agree with, but easier because our faith allows us to see them the way God sees them – as a child of His. I actually feel kind of stupid that I’ve never thought of it this way before now. I mean, how completely obvious that b/c of what I believe I should be able to connect with absolutely everyone – simply because I care for them and don’t judge them. It makes sense. The biggest relationship barriers all seem to stem from someone not accepting or forgiving someone else because they are not the ideal person according to whatever standard society is using at the time.

Here’s what Randy writes:

Despite the fact that I suspect I disagree with them on most issues of major importance in my life, I find Larry, Marian, Andie (and prior BM whizGirl, Jess the Nurse) to be more than interesting. They are wonderful. My religious beliefs serve as a bridge, not a wall. As I told Marian today “My faith enables me to see you as who you are – a child of God…a God who is intensely interested in you. My faith compells me to love you.”

There is so much to be learned from this statement. When we can start seeing our faith as a bridge that connects us to others instead of a wall that separates us from them, we can be free to share that connection with them in a way that draws them to Christ instead of pushing them away. We need to be focused on connecting with God’s people – not judging them and on loving them, not ignoring them!

Bumper Testimony

Okay, so I know you’ve all heard it before. I know you probably all agree, but I have to vent anyway. I work downtown, and therefore see my share of traffic every morning and evening. Well, this morning on my way to work I got on the ramp, and attempted to get on to the freeway. As is the case more times than not (pause and reflect on the hugeness of that statement), the person to my left sped up and got right behind the car in front of him so that I could not get on the highway. Did we learn this in elementary school when we didn’t want anyone to cut in front of us in the lunch line? What’s the big deal?? Did he really get where he was going any faster because he didn’t let me in? Okay – we all have these opinions about freeway drivers. BUT, here’s what prompted me to post this blog: On the back of his truck he had a bumper sticker.

SIDENOTE: I am pretty much completely opposed to bumper stickers as a whole. 1st, the person who puts the bumper sticker on the vehicle is not always the one driving which creates confusion in the minds of the lookers on. 2nd, it is rare that the person who put the sticker on (assuming that it is the same person as the one driving the vehicle) actually believes what they have stickered. I think bumper stickers are like personalized license plates, tattoos, piercings (which I’ve had – and therefore can comment on w/ authority), flourescent colored-hair (which I’ve also had) , and other such things. They are used to get attention – nothing more. They are rarely a statement of belief, passion, character or anything other than “hey, look at me!”

Now back to the story: The bumper sticker on this truck made me angry, sad, confused, ashamed – all kids of feelings. You’ve seen the sticker – I know you have. Some of you probably have the sticker on your car (I still love you). It said: “My boss is a Jewish Carpenter.”
I know what you’re thinking: “He might not have seen you.”, “It’s not like he flipped you off, or cut you off.” “What’s the big deal?”

The big deal is really a HUGE deal. This man for some reason decided he wanted to be associated w/ Jesus Christ – and so he put a sticker on his car. Well, now everyone that he refuses to let on the highway, or cuts off, or looks at funny will know that this man is a self-proclaimed representative of Jesus Christ – and look at how he treated me. It’s similar to when you go to a restaurant and at the end of the meal you leave a gospel tract for the waiter/waitress to read, but alongside it you leave a pathetic tip (or no tip at all) – I know this goes on frequently, I used to be a waitress. What does all this say about Christians? That we’re cheap? That we’re the most important car on the road? That we don’t care about your safety in your vehicle or the safety of your kids who are with you? That perhaps we just think we’re better than you and deserve more road space???

I’m a little perturbed. I will admit. I also have to admit that I am not a perfect driver. But I do try to realize that w/ or w/out a bumper sticker (I choose to go w/out) I am a representative of the most caring, loving, giving, patient person that ever walked the Earth – Jesus Christ.
Oh my goodness, please STOP THE MADNESS!!! Ditch the stickers! Let the other guy in! Tip your waitress! PRACTICE KINDNESS!!! People ARE watching you!