There are very few books that I have read that I would recommend as highly as this one.  It is a short little book (65 pages) and can be read in less than an hour (maybe an hour and a half if you read slowly), but the content of the book is just so good and right.  The content comes from a series of sermons given by Tozer many years ago about the question of how to be filled with the Holy Spirit.

The book begins by addressing who the Holy Spirit actually is.  He writes, “..the Holy Spirit has will and intelligence and feeling and knowledge and sympathy and ability to love and see and think and hear and speak and desire the same as any person has.” (p11)

I have never used so much hilighter ink on 65 pages in my life – this book is truly an important one to read.  When Tozer poses the question, What is He Like?, he answers with, “…exactly like Jesus.  You have read your New Testament, and you know what Jesus is like, and the Holy Spirit is exactly like Jesus..” (p20)

This little book is about so much more than just the Holy Spirit – although that topic alone is so valuable and worthy of an entire book.  Tozer talks about what the church should look like, what our lives as Christians should look like, the love of the Father, the glory of the Son and even so much more than that!

Before talking through some very practical ways to pursue, to be filled with, to walk with the Holy Spirit, Tozer first spends quite a few pages asking if we really want to be filled with the Spirit.  In the same way that Jesus asked “do you really want to follow me?”, Tozer asks, “are you sure you want to be possessed by a spirit other than your own?”  He says, “before you can be filled with the Spirit, you must desire to be filled.” (p45)

I found myself reflecting on

my actions – Am I living in a way that reflects the heart of Jesus?

my thoughts – Are my thoughts pure?  Is my heart clean?

my desire for God – Do I crave more of Him so deeply that I would allow Him to have actual control over my entire life?

This book is more than a few sermons about the Holy Spirit.  It is a call to action.  To prayer.  To pursuit of God.  To a desire for nothing less than more of Jesus.  Tozer’s words leave me with a deeper understanding of who the Holy Spirit is and a greater desire to know Him more fully.  This book was the best way I’ve ever spent an hour of my time.  I pray that you’ll go buy it, read it and be changed by it’s truth.

 

Disclosure: I received a copy of this book from the publisher in exchange for an honest review.  I was not required to write a positive review.  All opinions are my own.

Another weekly installment of funny things my kids say and do…

These are from the fall of 2013, so Sydney was 7, Maya was 5 and Finley was 2.

Maya (to her Papa): “Did you take a grey pill?  Cause last night your hair was brown and now it’s not.”

I asked Maya to let the dog in from outside, so she opened the back door and shouted, “Get your raggedy butt in here, Tux!”

Maya to Sydney: “Get in the stinkin’ car for goodness steaks!”

Maya: “There is a boy at school that I hate.”

Mom: “Why do you hate him?”

Maya: “Because he looks like a vampire.”

Maya: “Do I even have a neck?”

Mom: “Yes.”

Maya: “Well, I can’t see it. …Wait – does a neck move your head?”

Mom: “Yes.”

Maya: “OH! Well that explains why I can’t see it.”

Maya: “Mommy, I think it’s time for you and me to decide on a name for the new baby (talking about Hendrix).  If it’s a girl, how about Little Red Riding Hood?”

Maya: “For Halloween I’m going to be Bat-Ariel.  That means my head is going to be a bat and there is going to be red hair peeking out.”

While driving through Chick-fil-A, Finley rolls down her window and turns to Syd and Maya.  Then she asks them this: “What you want sisters?”  Then she looks back out the window and says, “Chickens please!”

Maya (to Sydney): “Don’t bite off more than you can fit in your shoe.”

Maya: “If you had some nuts and then a cracker, then together they’d make the sound nutcracker.  Or you could have some nuts ON a cracker.  That’s good too.”

Maya has put her own spin on the My Favorite Things song from the Sound of Music: “…mittens on strudel and noodles on mittens…”

Maya: “Jesus made us because he wanted little friends because he was tired of big friends.  We used to be toys and then became pictures and then were sent down and so we have to try new food even if we don’t like it.”

 

 

 

 

 

“If life is a river, then pursuing Christ requires swimming upstream.  When we stop swimming, or actively following Him, we automatically begin to be swept downstream.”  – Francis Chan, Crazy Love: Overwhelmed by a Relentless God

“Just keep swimming.”  – Dory, Finding Nemo

Sometimes I feel as though my life is like a white water rafting adventure.  Twists, turns, even a little danger.  I’ve never actually been white water rafting, though.  I’m not a big fan of the water.  My husband, however, loves the water.  He grew up near a huge lake and so he’s a fan of every kind of water activity.  He’s been rafting many times.  I have this picture of him in my head:  He’s in his element.  He’s calm and completely in control of his raft, handling the twists and turns like a pro.  I can imagine him laughing and smiling as the water gently splashes up over the edge of the raft into his adorable Mr. Bingley hair-do.  He would handle every bit of the adventure without any flips or falls, scrapes or bruises.   And he would be eager to repeat the whole thing again.

For me, it would be a bit different.  For me, it would go something like this:  I would wrap the life jacket around me (maybe even add a second one just to be sure), climb in the raft and very quickly identify the “Lord, help me!” handles.  Then I would hold on to said handles for dear life.  I’m sure I’d fall out of the raft at least a dozen times perhaps even breaking several bones in the process.  I would be screaming and crying from start to at least 20 minutes after the end and would come to the finish line (is there a finish line?) with hair filled with all manner of leaves, rocks and river rodents, mascara streaming down my face (because all good Texas girls wear mascara in absolutely every situation), body covered with bumps, bruises, cuts and scrapes.  I would wind up hating rafts, rivers, water, nature, whomever talked me into it and especially myself for agreeing to the whole thing in the first place.

I just need to tell you, dear friends, that I read the above to my husband and he said, “Well, that’s pretty accurate.  That’s pretty much how I picture you!”  Well, there you are.  I’ve told you before that I am a truth teller.

My attitude going in to the rafting adventure would be one of defeat.

My husband’s would be one of determination.

In both cases, the attitude going into the situation would have a very large impact on the outcome of the situation.

The same is true of life.  Chuck Swindoll once said that “life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react to it.”

What is your attitude day to day? Defeat?  Or Determination?

Either way, your attitude going into the day has an enormous impact on the outcome of your day.  Following Christ is difficult.  It requires much determination.  I agree with Francis Chan – Christianity is like swimming upstream.  Let’s choose today to have an attitude of determination.  To do the right thing.  To be kind.  To show grace.  To keep going no matter what happens.  We can do this.  We can. 

I will if you will.  I double dog dare you.

Just keep swimming,

Here’s another installment of silly things my kids have said..

These are also from 2013, so Maya was 5, Syd was almost 7.

Maya: “Your ear looks like an elf.”

Mom: “Maybe I am an elf.”

Maya: “No, you’re not!  Elves are smaller!”

Maya to her Daddy: “When I grow up and am a mom, I want to marry someone just like you…because you’re funny…and I want to have funny kids!”

Sydney: “Roly poly.  On the ceiling.  Not moving.”

Maya: “That’s because its saying BEWARE!!! BEWARE THE ROLY POLY!!!”

Maya: “It’s gross having armpits because sometimes you get hair in them.  And sometimes you get big eyebrows!  Gross!”

Daddy (to Maya): “Please don’t put meatballs in your sister’s hair.”

Maya: “I didn’t mean to.  I was sleeping.”

Maya: “They’re called hot dogs because they’re hot…and apparently they’re pig.”

Sydney (to her Daddy): “If you insult me then you insult my mommy and if you insult my mommy then she will BEAT you!”

Maya: “I really need to wash my feet because now I am making shoes gross.”

Mom (to Maya): “Are you wearing Sydney’s shoes?”

Maya: “Yes I am.  CLEARLY I don’t know where MY shoes are.”

Maya: “I found some gum on a chair tonight…and I accidentally picked it up…and then I accidentally put it in my mouth…and then I accidentally swallowed it.  Is that bad?”

I’ve recently become aware that some people (maybe even most people) don’t walk around feeling guilty all the time.  Could this possibly be true?  From the time I wake up to the time I go to sleep (and often even in my weird little dreams) I feel guilty about something.  Or everything.

I feel guilty that I didn’t get up thirty minutes earlier so that I could have uninterrupted quiet time with God.  I feel guilty that I never wake up thirty minutes early so that I can have uninterrupted quiet time with God.  I feel guilty for the second (or third or fourth) cup of coffee.  I feel guilty that my kids are eating cereal or pop tarts instead of a nourishing breakfast with all thing gross and good for you.  I feel guilty for every minute of television they watch.  I feel doubly guilty for every minute of television that I watch.  I feel guilty for not doing laundry, or for doing it wrong or for having so many clothes in the first place.  I feel guilty that I hate to cook.  I feel guilty for not answering the phone when my mom, or friend, or whoever calls.  I feel guilty for never checking my voice mail (well, not really).  I feel guilty for my Target obsession, my Starbucks addiction and my affinity for long, dangly earrings.  I feel guilty for not baking, but I also feel guilty when I do bake because heaven knows I don’t need anymore sugar in my diet!  I feel guilty that I don’t get to spend enough time with my kids, or my husband, or my friends, or myself.  I feel guilty about all the things I forgot to do and all the things I didn’t forget about but didn’t do anyway either because I ran out of time or energy or both.

I feel guilty all the time and that guilt is such an enormous burden.  I know that I am not the only one who feels this way.  For about two weeks I actually went around asking everyone I know how often each day they feel guilty about something. The answers I got were what made me think that 1) it’s not ok or normal to feel guilty all the time and 2) I’m not the only one who feels this way.  My husband, for example, feels guilty maybe once a month.  I have a friend who said that she has only really felt guilty over a few things in her entire lifetime.  Can you imagine?!  Then there was another friend who teared up when I confessed how heavy the weight of guilt is in my life because she feels exactly the same way.  So for her and me, I think it’s worth talking about.  

I don’t believe we were meant to carry this guilt, but like many things we’re not meant to carry we really don’t know how to put it down.  We’ve been carrying this guilt around so long that we don’t know what we would look like without it.  We live in a world that is driven by ambition, comparison and excess.  We have been told our entire lives that we can have anything we want and we should definitely want it all.

Matthew 11:28-30 says, “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.  Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.  For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”

Jesus came to free us from the heavy bondage of guilt.  He never intended for us to walk around with such a burden.

As soon as I realized that my level of daily guilt was way above the norm, I started a guilt journal.  Whenever I recognized a feeling of guilt, or whenever I had the time and inclination I wrote down all of the things I felt guilty about.  The first few times I did this I was able to fill an entire page (sometimes two) with all of the things I felt guilty about.  Just writing them down gave me a new perspective.  Some of the things I was feeling guilty about were completely out of my control, some were long in the past and some were just plain stupid.  There were only a few things on my long lists that really mattered to me.  I’ve discovered something: Seeing the guilt you are carrying in the right perspective is the first step in freeing yourself from it’s power over you.  When we see the guilt we feel in light of what is truly important, we begin to be able to let it go.  Over time my lists became smaller and less frequent as I began to be able to make determinations in my head about what things I should just dismiss immediately and what things I really needed to address.

As I began to retrain my brain to dismiss the dumb stuff and stop feeling guilty all the time I also started to realize that one of the reasons I felt guilty all the time was because my standards were simply too high.  My expectations for myself and others veer way too close to perfectionism.  I had this list in my head of everything I needed to get done in a day and if I didn’t accomplish every single thing on that list I began to feel like a failure.  I did a sort of inventory of all of the things I was responsible for in a given day, week, month and year and immediately realized that I must be a complete nut job to think that anyone, including Jesus himself (who IS perfect), could accomplish every one of those things.  Looking at my life from the outside, I looked like a crazy person.  Of course I felt guilty every day!  I could never have lived up to my own expectations and I was setting myself up for failure.  I created my own guilt by setting the goal so high that failure was my only option.

I began, and am still in, a season of saying no.  A season of giving myself grace.  In The Best Yes, Lysa Terkeurst says, “The decisions we make dictate the schedule we keep.  The schedules we keep determine the lives we live.  The lives we live determine how we spend our souls.  So, this isn’t just about finding time.  This is about honoring God with the time we have.” (p23)  She also says, “When I’ve let my schedule get out of control, it’s my soul that suffers the most.  Other things suffer for sure.  My family time.  My attitude.  My stress level.  But the deep sadness in my soul is the hardest of all to shake.” (p25)

For me, that deep sadness in my soul often comes from a feeling of failure or of not being good enough.  I have this insane idea that I should be able to do it all.  Pinterest, Facebook and Instagram contribute greatly to this idea that we should be the masters of everything and it’s a terribly unhealthy thought. We need to learn to give ourselves grace.  Brene Brown says that we should talk to ourselves the way that we would talk to someone that we love.  Instead of filling ourselves with guilt we should be giving ourselves grace.

I’ve decided that I’m done with it.  I don’t want to live a life that’s filled with guilt and shame and the constant feelings of not being enough.  I don’t want to go to bed every night feeling like a complete failure.  I’m just done.  So, I channeled my inner Brene Brown and wrote out some steps for myself as I move towards better self grace.  I thought they might help someone else too, so here they are.

1. Acknowledge the Issue.  Write it down.  Say it out loud.  Look at it with fresh eyes.  Decide whether or not it’s worth your time, energy and emotion.  Dismiss the things that are out of your control, way in the past or just plain stupid.  At the beginning of my journey I was doing this almost daily with a “guilt journal”.  Now I do it probably once a week or so. 
2. Take Inventory & Set New Standards.  Take a look at your expectations.  Are they too high?  Inventory your responsibilities and schedule.  Is it even possible?  Start to determine what needs to stay and what needs to go.  Give up perfectionism and take up in yourself a spirit of grace.  You will never achieve perfection.  No one else will either.  If this is your goal, it is simply way too high and you are dooming yourself to a life filled with guilt and disappointment.
3. Shift Your Focus.  Instead of thinking of what wasn’t, think of what was.  Instead of feeling guilty over the things you screwed up, begin to celebrate the things you did right.  Start to be grateful for what you have, for who you are, for the opportunities you’ve been given.  Make a list of things you’re grateful for – everything God has blessed you and your family with.  Shift your focus from the things that make you feel bad about who you are to the things that make you feel good about yourself and your situation.
4. Be Careful the Company You Keep. There are people in your life who consistently make you feel bad about who you are.  These types of relationships are toxic.  You need to intentionally limit your interaction with these people.  There are also people in your life who love you just exactly as you are.  Surround yourself with those people.  They will be there to support you, encourage you and help you as you move from guilt-filled to grace-filled living.  I have been very intentional over the last several months about who I am spending my time with and this has made more of a difference in my soul than any other thing I’ve done.  Relationships that make me feel rotten are simply not something I can handle right now. 
5. Give Yourself Grace.  When you do fail, and you will, give yourself grace.  As Brene Brown says: “Talk to yourself the same way that you would talk to someone that you love.”  You are not meant to be perfect.   You are not meant to do it all.  You are enough just exactly as you already are.  God says so and so do I.

Guys, we can do this.  We don’t have to live this way anymore.  I want something different for myself and for my kids.  I don’t want a life of guilt.  I want a life of grace.  Let’s make a better way.

I will if you will.

Love you guys!

Kim

 

In Brother Lawrence’s book, “The Practice of the Presence of God”, he writes:

“…if we are truly devoted to doing God’s will, pain and pleasure won’t make any difference to us.  We also need to be faithful, even in dry periods.  It is during those dry spells that God tests our love for Him.  We should take advantage of those times to practice our determination and our surrender to Him.  This will often bring us to a maturity further on in our walk with God.”

There is SO much in these few sentences!  I had to read that first sentence several times.  Read it with me again, “…if we are truly devoted to doing God’s will, pain and pleasure won’t make any difference to us.”  What does that mean?  Well, to me it means that I cannot let my feelings determine where I go or what I do.  I cannot let how I feel about a situation change how I act within a situation.  I must trust only the truth of God’s Word – the faithfulness of His character and the sovereignty of His plan!

It’s taken me many years to learn this, but I finally understand that we have the ability as humans to act in a way that is different than the way we feel.  True story.  We have the ability.  We do.  Our feelings do not have to determine our actions, our words or even our reactions to other people.  We are able to adjust.  It does, however, take intentionality.  We get to choose how we act/react in any situation.  But we must choose.  Otherwise our feelings will choose for us.

“We also need to be faithful, even in dry periods.  It is during those dry spells that God tests our love for Him.  We should take advantage of those times to practice our determination and our surrender to Him.  This will often bring us to a maturity further on in our walk with God.”

Have you ever gone through a time in your life (or are you in one right now) where you are having a hard time discerning God’s voice and His will for your life?  Or maybe you’re not understanding why God has you in a certain place, a certain ministry, a certain situation?  Oh my goodness gracious, I have!  Many times.  We’ve ALL been there.  In fact, while leading worship a few weeks back I felt God urging me to confess that I sometimes I have absolutely no idea what I’m doing.  I don’t always know God’s will.  I don’t always hear his voice.  I sometimes have no clue what to do or where to go in life.  I think Brother Lawrence has some beautiful advice for us for those times.  “We should take advantage of those times to practice our determination and our surrender to Him!”

I once heard Beth Moore say that if you’re having a hard time believing God, then you should ACT like someone who believes.  I think the same holds true here.  We must be determined to surrender to God – it won’t simply happen.  It’s an act of the will.  Deciding to follow when we don’t feel like it, or trust when we’re not sure we’re believing it, or worship when we simply don’t want to is not something we should do – but something we MUST do.  In choosing to behave more like one of God’s chosen – we will begin to more fully understand what it actually means to follow.  In choosing to try harder to discern the voice and will of God, we will begin to get better at getting still and actually listening.  Sometimes God chooses to be quiet so that we will lean in closer.  In choosing to intentionally act in a way that is contrary to our feelings, we show the people around us (and especially ourselves) that we are strong enough to do what’s right even when it’s hard.  As Glennon Doyle Melton would say, “We can do hard things!”

Let’s choose today to practice our determination and our surrender to the Father.  Let’s act like people who love Jesus.  Let’s not let our feelings determine our actions.

I will if you will.  I’m rooting for us!

Kim

I have this collection of the funny things my kids say.  I thought, for your midweek pick-me-up I might share some of them with you.  These are from the Spring of 2013 – so they’re oldies but goodies.  This was from three years ago, so Maya was almost 5 and Sydney was 6.  All of my kids are hilarious, but this particular season was filled with mostly Maya-isms.

“I’ve been thinking…wouldn’t it be cool if I could be invisible while I am in the sea?  That way sharks couldn’t eat me.” – Maya

“Did you know that spies are from another planet?  They’re kinda like astronauts.  They can come to this planet though.  Isn’t that cool?” – Maya

“Jesus is sending us a note again.  A pink note.  In the sky.” (she believed that anytime the sky was beautiful, it was Jesus sending us a love note) – Maya

Mom: “Maya, what would you like to learn about?”

Maya: “Cake.  And eyeballs.  Bloody eyeballs.”

Maya: “Can you get me that for my birthday? (A little stuffed unicorn)

Mom: “Maybe for your birthday.”

Maya: “No. No maybe. I want that. I’m not kidding.”

“Business in the front…Flowers in the back!” – Maya

February 13, 2013 …. We had roast for dinner.

Maya: “Ewww! I like helping animals. Not eating them!”

Syd: “Mmmm! Can I have some more cow please?”

The Middles (Syd & Maya) were playing and I heard a bit of their conversation:

Sydney: “I’m leaving. I’m going to save the world!”

Maya: “You can’t! The light of darkness is too strong!”

“It’s not okay to punch anyone. That’s not nice. Unless it’s a zombie.” – Maya

“You know what makes werewolves uncomfortable? People. They hate people.” – Maya

March 4, 2013. I was trying to explain the different parts of the cow that we eat. We get to rump roast and Maya says, “Wait! So I’m eating clutius maximus?!” 

“I had a dream last night. I know it was a dream because we were all octopuses … and we were all skinny.” – Maya